Update...

11w5d and had a reassurance ultrasound done. A quick check to see if ittybitty bean is still going strong.

And yes, ittybitty is still there. HB was 160, good. And CRL measured 12w1d. So already in the 85% for size. (I know better than to let them keep this measuring stuff up, so after the 20w count the toes US, NO MORE!).

It appears so far the placenta is high and maybe a bit anterior, so looks like I won't be feeling much again... Sigh... I hate anterior placentas! I so want to feel baby flipping and flopping! Maybe this time, some how I will... But, I doubt it. I wonder why the placenta implants where it does? Why would it choose one site over the other? I did hear once that anterior placentas were more common in anteverted uterus, which is what I have... So who knows..

But overall the apt. was quick and fun, and DH had a chance to look at a screen that was not half across the room, they have one right at the foot of the bed, so I could actually see to without having to turn sideways to look out one eye. Nice little bit.

So, so far so good!

Please tell me this is because of the hormones...

I have been having the oddest dreams lately. So vivid, I wake up feeling like I actually was running in them!

So the latest installment of my early morn nightmares was actually kinda fun. I was some Klingon warior in some futuristic airport with these magnetic people movers, looked like florescent arrows on the floor (like something out of mario cart where you stepped on them and zoom!). And my job was to "take out" someone. It happened to be my ex-director from a previous job. Dressed in horrible hawaiian style shirt, bermuda shorts, panama hat and sunglasses, carrying a breifcase! So the whole dream was me running, and shooting, and acting like I was in zero G as I tried to assasinate him! The dream even took me outdoors where I was chasing down jumbo jets with my plasma gun! At one point I hopped a ride on one of those baggage carts, but it felt like I was moving in slow motion and jumped off.

Next thing I knew, I woke up, and still do not know if I got my mark... Sigh...

I am writing this one off to hot flashes, hormones and too much sci fi in my life. :)

Yes, I am silly....

So I picked up one of those POAS (pee on a stick) gender determination test kits. From the company http://www.intelligender.com.

And well, decided to give it a try. WTH right? We already kinda have an idea of what bean is. Esp since we know that we BD once, and based on when I was supposed to O was early, so based on girl swimmers (x) are longer lived, and boy swimmers (y's) swim faster but peeter out sooner (ha ha ha), the chances of us having a XX bean seems more logical.

So I followed the instructions, that make the test seem so complicated. You POAC first, and then syringe in 20mL of FMU (first morning urine for you that have not made POAS part of your habitual morning routine) into a cup containing stuff that looks like fairy dust. No kidding, it actually sparkles and has blue bits of glitter in it!??! Real scientific huh?

And then you are to swirl it gently for 10 seconds, and then NEVER touch it again. So you have to place it on a white paper towel or something. And then wait EXACTLY 10 minutes, no more no less.

So I followed the instructions and let it sit. I went down and checked the website since they were supposed to have color pictures of Boy results and Girl results. Boys were supposed to turn green, and Girls stay pee yellow.

Consulted DH and told him what I was doing. He thought I was nutzo! Because he is convinced it is a girl bean as well. But we both treked up to the bathroom and stood there staring at the floaty contents.. Like some mystic magic pot... (This is actually another thing that is not new to us, after the POAS comes the analysis, "is this two lines?" "Do you think that looks darker?" "Is it blue?" "Does that look like an evap line?" Even went as far as to have DH POAS once to verify that the test was not bad.... crazy, I know...)

And the results?

PEE YELLOW

Yup. A girl bean. :)

Was not much of a supprise, but I guess one can always hold out that somehow I might actually be able to buy the mini construction boots.... On the bright side, I have a wardrobe already!

So now it is only to "confirm" with ultrasound at the 20 week appointment.

Speaking of bellies...

Well it has started. My soon to be 4 year old DD decided to bring up the discussion.

"Mommy, who's belly did you grow up in?" My response "I grew in grammie's belly".

"Whos belly did daddy grow up in?" My response "Daddy grew in Nana's belly".

Then she looked at me and askd..

"who grew in grandpa's belly?" Both DH and I calmly stated "No one. Only Mommies, and grandmas have the chance to have babies grow in their bellies". She seemed fine with that answer, but then the next one came.

"Well, how do they get out? Do they dig and dig and pop out?" At which point DH and I had to stifle a laugh (because if we laugh, she is in that delicate girl stage where she will start to cry and tell us to stop laughing at her, like we just crushed her.... btw when does that end?) and DH responded, "Mommy will tell you about that much later, ok."

That lead into Lies to Children. "Well you know how Santa clause can fit down the chimney? How it is magic, well it is magic how babies are born!". That seemed to appease her curiosity for now, and then she was off onto another subject.

Phew.... I am just not prepared for these types of conversations!

Who did I just meet?

thought I would update you on my first prenatal appointment with OB/WM group. And the verdict is??!??!?? Did I really meet with an OB? Yeah, it was that amazing. I cannot believe how I feel after the appointment yesterday. I had a 4:10 appointment and did not leave the office until close to 6:00! All that time I was with the OB! The whole practice is really nice and friendly, and like I stated, from the things this OB was saying, I really did not feel like I was with an OB at all! At one point she stated "AGOG is NOT our friend" Another one was "I feel bad that medicine has gone the way it has and forces women to abandon hospitals, just to have birth options". She was just amazing. The whole practice is pro VBAC and told me that I would have to sign the scary concent form, which I told her was fine, since I already have educated myself on the risks, and wondered about the scary RCS consent form. Her response was , well VBAC risk is mom and baby, and RCS risk is all to the mom (which she added if it was done late enough so that the baby was mature).She was wonderful. Tried finding the HB with a hand held doppler, but we both knew 9 weeks is too early for that. Before she tried she asked me "are you going to be OK if we don't find it? Because if it will cause you more stress, we won't even try". I told her I was already a nervous mess due to my loss history.. We tried and could not find it. But at the end she snuck out to see who was left in the building and then had me go down to the new US machine and we checked on bean. She was so excited to see too! It was so cute, we were both just staring at bean turn to the side, roll around and move it's little arms and legs for a while. The HB was good and strong. I think it was the first time I actually came to the realisation that "THIS IS HAPPENING! I am pregnant! This one might just stick around!" It was a massive flood of positive emotions..She was completely ok with me staying on Metformin. without me having to push the point at all. She stated that she thinks it would be a great idea, and that there has been some great results with it. She even feels that I might be able to skate under the radar when it comes to GD. Since she feels that last time I was not GD at all but over managed by my OB group. We even talked about HBAC. She told me that even staying on the metformin, I probably could find a HBMW to support me if that was my choice. She told me honestly she wished that all VBAC moms were able to be comfortable in a hospital and how it sucked that hospitals have become so bad. She did state that their hospital policies were pretty liberal and I could move, eat, drink, etc at the hospital, and she hopes I would consider it. That she would love to be a part of my pregancy till the end.It was downright amazing. I am still in shock that something could be so utterly different than the past five OB groups I have seen! So I go next to meet the MW's in 4 weeks!

Busy Monday...

Well I had an 8:00 allergist appointment, where i was scolded for not comming in sooner and suffering all winter/spring with stuffy/runny nose and congestion from my allergies. I felt like a dork.. But with life so busy, and well, I just dealt with it. Annoying yes, but carrying tons of cleenex became a normal thing for me.

And this afternoon I have my first OB appointment. I am hopefull that I can have a good relationship with them, and hopefully start this journey off better than my last one. My task this AM was pulling all my paperwork out that this OB will want to see. That meant me digging through my 4" binder of medical jargon hell, trying to find what is pertinent.

It was not fun, dug up a bunch of stuff I wish I never had to live through. Most of all I hate the fact that my cesarean for DD is marked as ELECTIVE! That pisses me off. In no way did I choose just to have a cesarean because I wanted one! I hate the fact that it does not state "OB Required" Because that is what it was! OB required due to their fear! FEAR! That they could not control my birth outcome! But the sad fact of the matter is NO HUMAN can control the outcome of my pregnancies and birth! Only GOD! And last time I checked he was not making guestimates behind the ultrasound machine or weilding a scalpel to dissect me!

So, I just do not know how to handle this. I am really nerovus and know my blood pressure will probably be all wacked out.. Due to stress! Sigh...

Guess I will try and post more after the appointment. But we are going on vacation Tuesday night, so my time is limited with all the housework and packing I have to do..

Gosh, ya think?!??!

Just came across this great blog called The Man Nurse ( http://mannursediaries.blogspot.com/2009/05/nearly-bleeding-to-death-from-cesarean.html ) And he had a post about a woman who prit near died from an "elective" breach cesarean.



The best part I have added below:

""""Why did she have a C-section? It was a scheduled section for breech presentation. The baby was 6 pounds; need I suggest a breech vaginal birth might have been safer? There are two things I see going on here. The first is that people have the impression that c-sections are minor surgical operations. They're not. A section is a major abdominal surgery with multiple risks. The second is that the cost-benefit decision of whether to "let" breech babies come out vaginally has been decided, probably by malpractice insurance policies, to be not worth the cost. But the risks of a breech birth are against the baby (e.g. cord compression by the descending head); the risks of a section are against the baby and mother. If nothing else, this decision presumes 1. risk to more people and 2. consent by the mother to place themselves at higher risk to eliminate one perceived risk to their baby. I don't know that this is a fair decision, and I don't think most mothers are informed that this is the choice they are being compelled by their healthcare providers to make. """"""""

Wow! that is profound! I stated the exact thing when I was coerced into an "elective" cesarean due to my projected to be macrosomic infant! What risk do I take for a percieved risk the OB fears, not only in this pregnancy, but to future pregnancies and the rest of my life?

It is not a fair decision, and women are NOT informed! But most OB's tell you a cesarean is no big deal! That today it is so safe... That it does not matter how the baby arrives! Just that the baby is gueranteed to be 100% healthy by some omipotent OB with a scalpel.

Too bad I do not consider adhesions, numbness, bladder issues, and oh, the ever to be feared exploding uterine incision to be taken lightly as the OB feels when he claims I am healthy!

A teeny update...

Well, not much to post. 8w6d today. Still exhausted and still have nausea all the time. But able to eat most of the time, and have not had any re-visitations so that is a GOOOOD thing.

Things have been going smoothly, my nervous ninny side has calmed a bit. I think it is because my life has been so darned hectick lately with the "playground project" and extra stuff that came up at work, requiring me to be in at 7:00 am instead of my usual 8:30... Makes a difference when you are draggin azz on a normal day! Poor DH has really had to pick up a lot of the house load... he grumbles a bit, but at least he is still doing it. Sometimes he makes me feel like I am being nauseous or tired on purpouse to get out of my share of the housework, but that is not the case, I just know that if I am that tired, I MUST rest. That for some reason bean wants rest...

I should have more to post tomorrow, I have my first appointment with a MW/OB group in the area. From what I have heard they are pretty decent and supportive. I guess I will find out for myself soon enough.

The whole thing I am wrasslign right now is the fact that I have been on Metformin since 2007, and feel great on it. Before I started the met, I had gained like 20 lbs in about 4 weeks and constantly felt like crap with no good reason for it. But since i am on it for PCOS, they pull me off of it cold turkey around 10 weeks. And I don't think I should stop. I had some mild sugar things going on with DD, and have read some really positive stuff about met and preventing GD, etc. Now I just have to see if I can find a healthcare provider who will lean my way.

Off to find my journal articles on met and pregnancy...