Monday, January 19, 2009

Why not, just a little drink?

So I work at a biopharmaceutical company. We make biologic cures, stuff for cancer, etc.

I was in a meeting and the group that oversees bioreactors starts talking about the methotrexate need for the next runs.

Methotrexate. Hum. We have tons of it. Literally. Bulk drums..

How much would I need? Is it in the lab?

My mind wanders to the idea of yet another poison to somehow scour this thing that is plaguing me from my worn torn body.

Should I call the OB? Should I start discussing using the abortion cocktails? Will it work or just be more hell. Will it diminish the feeling of "conclusion" that I had after my natural miscarriages?

I just do not know. How much longer can I live this existence.

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