The holidays

So the holidays went well. We decided to not tell anyone about our "news" just yet. My mom did not understand. She was excited and wanted to tell everyone. Her logic was "we kept it a secret the last times you had miscarriages, and it did not do any good, so why not celebrate now?" In a way I could see her logic, be happy for today. But I have found that if you are really happy today, and get yourself ready for a happy outcome, when it goes south, it is that much harder of a fall. Plus you have to try to explain things to people who have never had a pregnancy loss. And then you have to listen to people feel "bad" for you or say things that just make you feel worse.

So Mom and Dad knew. And I splurged christmas morning and told my sister since I felt good and my mom's positive vibes were wearing off on me. DH was upbeat too, and it was like a nice private secret that we could giggle about and laugh. Already the thoughts for the future start poping into existance. An August baby, a State Fair baby, a new baby for the holidays next year. Maternity clothes in the summer, no AC in our house while verry pregnant.. You just can't stop it. They just happen.

It was hard to not look like I was staying away from the alcohol without drawing attention to the fact but I did.

Madeline had a great christmas. And I vowed to not think about my pregnancy and just celebrate what I had, one wonderful three year old who thought reindeer are plastic! We made cookies together (she kicked dad out since it was a gilrs only kitchen) and we had so much fun decorating the house, planning our visit to family.

So the holidays were nice, filled with hope, and a full dose of being thankful for what we have, our little family.