So, ice storm has abated, we are back in NH. I have put off calling my RE's (reproductive endocrinologist) office. I just want to be happy for a little while.
I spent the night puking to the point bile was the only thing filling the bowl. No fever, and did not eat anything wonky. First time I was sick. My pregnancy with Madeline, I was nausious but never threw up.
Managed to drag my azz out of bed and get to the RE's office for my 7:30 blood draw. I am now 16 DPO. Tell the nurse I was sick all night. She asks "any fever, eat anything diffrent?" I say nope. She then harshly coments "well, we will just see if you actually are pregnant". (Should I put in here that the women at this office are a peice of work?!? Not the first time insensitive shit spilled out of them). She had a hard time finding a vein "uhm, can you say I am a bit dehydrated?". She drew a dot with her pen "so she could find the vein easier" WTF?!? I have seen paramedics jab a 16 guage in someones arm while riding the back of an Ambulance going 45-50 over bumpy roads!
Then the wait. Since I was there early, I would have the results later that day.
Ten am. earlier than they ever called. Diffrent nurse, so I could not be all condesending to "we will see" woman. My HcG Beta was 217. They wanted me to come in for a doubling rate, but since we were slated to get another winter storm in two days,told me to come back in four.
I contemplated this. I know this path. What would this tell me? Would I be reassured by the "doubling rate" or would it just prove more anxiety? What would happen if the numbers were not quite the textbook double? Based on the time and the initial number I should have a 868 number. Part of me does not want to know. I want to just be F-ing happy for once! I want to be ignorant of loss, of pain, of the hell I have been through.
I guess we will make that decision as it comes.
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