My anthem

It is funny how moments in my life are captured with song. They say that memories are built like building blocks, with the more senses used at the time, the more of a chance that the memory will be imprinted stronger. So they say.

There are a few moments in my life where various songs and music I can now relate to a window in my life. How the song could paint my emotions at the time.

As a frustrated, misunderstood teen it was "Out the Window" by Violent Femmes

Then as a college student trying to understand relationships "When I come around" by Green Day

Or the long highway moments on my honeymoon driving up Interstate 81 to Tom Petty's greatest hits

My leaving my first post university job, sunroof open, radio blaring "This town is wrong" by The Nields

Planning the birth of my first child to the album "Matriarch" by Joanne Sheanandoah

Being sliced open while awake in a cold OR to "Dancing Queen" by Abba as they extracted my first child (NOTE, this was not my choice, but what the OR team had on in the background)

And a song exerpt that summs up my hellish attempt to build a family....

{ When I see what is real in the dark
Midlife Crisis, broken Heart
I'm glad that no one told me it was coming
I'd rather live expecting the best
But if you gave me the choice, I'd like to know the rest
A figure in the distance always running }

Another Nerissa and Katrina Nields song, it is about a relationship that has soured, but for me the heartfelt lament is about the figure in the distance, the child that I just cannot reach. In the end the song ends with the chorous

{I've got to make it on my own}

So true. So freaking true.