The Unexpected....

Ok, I know people tell you this all the time... {when you stop caring too much, that is when it happens}.

Well, I just don't know. I know I have sort of given up TTC, I know I really felt resigned that Maddie will be an only. I even started looking at other things to keep me busy since building my family was a loosing battle. So I went through the process to get my NH EMT license (used to have a NJ license) and joined the local Fire/EMS/Rescue department. I have PLANS! I am going to ride the ambulance, I am possibly going to get certified for fire! I have started planning on all the gardens we will work on, Maddie's play set, a vacation with inlaws in June...

And that nagging feeling "POAS, POAS, POAS," kept creaping in.... AF is not late, heck it is not due for another day or two... But...

I POAS'ed.......

And, my morning foggy eyes, looked down, and stated {hell, must be an old strip, that looks like an evap line!}. But after two minutes, the line was not a faint yellow streak, it was a bright flaming pink line! I did the pink line laugh "ha ha haaa haaaaaa haaahaahaaa". And DH had already left for class....

So here I am living with the knowledge that that "feeling" I had was a "feeling" afterall.

I am happy, scared, and well, just don't know what to think!

This is just the begining again, and the road is long, but I grasp the moment of "HOLY COW!!!!!" for now! I love the supprise! I love the "we were not even trying!" Those are like statements that 'other' women use... Not me! But now it is me! We had an 'accident' and I am PG!!!!!!! OMG!!!!!

From what I can tell, I think I O'ed around Easter. So that makes an Easter baby who has a rough arrival date of late december, early January... A christmas baby... Is there any irony in this?!? I gave up, I quit, I threw my hands up and accepted my lot in life, just to have another chance...

Pray for me, pray for us, that this time, somehow nothing goes so tragically wrong! I need to stay positive...