Closure?

Well everyone, Things will be moving along in my life as of tomorrow.

After weeks of paitently waiting, I am emotionally unable to keep going. This weekend was the worst by far since this whole thing started.

I was able to see my OB today, and we did one more US just to make me feel better about things. My OB was hoping since i still have nausea, sore boobs, etc, that she would see a baby. I unfortunately did not share her hope. I just wanted to know that it was not some cancerous tumor or anything..

And just the big black hole was there.. Nothing else. No worry about molar pregnancy, etc, but no sign of any bleeding, anything in there either.. So we have scheduled me for the D&C surgery tomorrow. Time undetermined since I am an "add in".

I am at peace with this as much as I can be... I honestly feel that I have tried everything. Herbs, time, etc.. But for some reason, my life journey is supposed to take another path.. Why I do not know.. What the implications this has on my future, I do not know...

I am of course scared S-less about surgery, but I am comforted with the knowledge that my OB is kind, caring, and gentle. She is an experienced and skilled OB. She reassured me that NO ONE but her will be touching me, and that helps a lot since I had pretty bad PTSD after my first D&C. She gave me the spiel of risks, etc, but also told me that in all of her experiences the complications are very rare.. So that makes me feel somewhat better, even though I know enough to make me worry.

Next hurdle is meeting with the anesthesiolog


Well, that is my update. Soon I will be able to change my ticker and say I am moving on with life...

Keep me in your thoughts/prayers tomorrow Feb 3rd.

I will update when I get a chance and feel emotionally able to.