My face in that of others...

I am reading a book where the main character has isues with hospitals. She sees herself in the faces of the people there. I can relate. Never put it to words, yet I feel that dread, that feeling as if I will be in that position. And already in my life I have played the role of helpless patient. It is a feeling that haunts you. To have your life completely out of your control. To face ones own mortality. That tody may be the last, or even worse, that this may be the last day of your life as you know it. To leave damaged. Each surgery leaves it's mark on ones phisical and psychological self. Scars may be little, or not even visible on the outside, but they are there, forever a change, forever altering. Phisiologically, it leaves holes in your life. Moments of time that you will never remember. Taken from you as the anesthesia consumes you. Time when you are unable to control the most primitive functions of being human. Time when you are laid bare, no way to protect yourself. No doubt the trauma to the psychological self can easilty outweigh the body damage. Yet has this been addressed? Does anyone care?