Supprise

Well, DH was beyond belief when I pulled out the HPT. He thought I pulled a fast one on him, with an old stick....

He just shook his head in disbelief, a massive S.E.G. on his face... Which was followed up with "well if I knew we were going to try this cycle, I would have had more SEX!!!!"

His next statement was "But we only BD once!!!!" Followed up with "This sort of thing happens to other people not US!"

Yeah, not us... It has been months of charting, temping, RE appointments, and massive amounts of timed BD in order to get a BFP. We were told we were SUB-Fertile!

But here we are, second cycle after my loss, and not even trying!

The Unexpected....

Ok, I know people tell you this all the time... {when you stop caring too much, that is when it happens}.

Well, I just don't know. I know I have sort of given up TTC, I know I really felt resigned that Maddie will be an only. I even started looking at other things to keep me busy since building my family was a loosing battle. So I went through the process to get my NH EMT license (used to have a NJ license) and joined the local Fire/EMS/Rescue department. I have PLANS! I am going to ride the ambulance, I am possibly going to get certified for fire! I have started planning on all the gardens we will work on, Maddie's play set, a vacation with inlaws in June...

And that nagging feeling "POAS, POAS, POAS," kept creaping in.... AF is not late, heck it is not due for another day or two... But...

I POAS'ed.......

And, my morning foggy eyes, looked down, and stated {hell, must be an old strip, that looks like an evap line!}. But after two minutes, the line was not a faint yellow streak, it was a bright flaming pink line! I did the pink line laugh "ha ha haaa haaaaaa haaahaahaaa". And DH had already left for class....

So here I am living with the knowledge that that "feeling" I had was a "feeling" afterall.

I am happy, scared, and well, just don't know what to think!

This is just the begining again, and the road is long, but I grasp the moment of "HOLY COW!!!!!" for now! I love the supprise! I love the "we were not even trying!" Those are like statements that 'other' women use... Not me! But now it is me! We had an 'accident' and I am PG!!!!!!! OMG!!!!!

From what I can tell, I think I O'ed around Easter. So that makes an Easter baby who has a rough arrival date of late december, early January... A christmas baby... Is there any irony in this?!? I gave up, I quit, I threw my hands up and accepted my lot in life, just to have another chance...

Pray for me, pray for us, that this time, somehow nothing goes so tragically wrong! I need to stay positive...