The re-draw 12/21/08

So I decided to go in for the repeat draw. DH thought it was a good idea, my Acupuncture provider thought it was a good idea. So what would this do for me? It could rule out an ectopic they say, which if caught now, could save me serious complications. It could give me peace of mind (DOUBT IT, never has in the past).

Go back in, same incompotent nurse, same ballpoint pen mark on my arm. Have the results in a few.

No early call this am... no results till 1:00pm. Nurse calls, tells me "your number is going up" and I knew. I asked her to tell me the actual result. 767. She tells me the number is not quite doubling, and they want me to come back in two days. My response, I will be traveling out of town the night before the scheduled draw, and will not be available due to the christmas holidays. Her response to me, "well we will schedule an ultrasound for 1/5/09."

So that is that, the number is "not textbook perfect!" Did I call it?!? Did I say this test would not make me feel better?!? And what am I supposed to do about it! Can I change this! Can they change this! What the F-ing poooo can anyone do except watch and wait!

So now I have doubt. The cautious happiness has turned to fear, turned to anxiety. I start looking up HcG doubling on every website I can find. DH does the same. We try to tell ourselves that it is still good (greater than a 60% increase, which for some reason is a textbook number that states doom and gloom comes to those with a lower doubling rate). What the poo. Why more stress!